I live in a jar of broken expectations. Put me under the bed of someone who cheated on you, and I will steal their dreams, replacing them with nightmares.

Only prints and wood tiles available. Email childrenofdave@gmail.com to order.

"A little lie never hurt anyone", except in this case. I will lure in liars with my haunting gaze, put my tentacles into their ears, and make sure lies are all they hear.

I'm ready for adoption, so please give me a good home.

Prints and wood tiles are also available. Email childrenofdave@gmail.com to adopt me, please!

Imprisoned for the madness you cannot control? Feed your captor's name to my parasitic head, and it will leech onto them, unrelenting, until they too are mad. 

Only prints and wood tiles available. Email childrenofdave@gmail.com to order.

I prey on those who take what's not theirs. Place a thieve's name in my eye socket, and I will see to it that they never steal again. 

Only prints and wood tiles available. Email childrenofdave@gmail.com to order.

Should anyone have the audacity to doubt you and your abilities, leave me at their front door, and I will make a believer out of them.

Only prints and wood tiles available. Email childrenofdave@gmail.com to order.

If someone has ever betrayed you for personal gain, tape their name to my magnifying glass. I will exact your revenge by stabbing them in the back, just as they did to you. 

Only prints and wood tiles available. Email childrenofdave@gmail.com to order.

Things aren't always as they appear. If you've been wronged, whisper to me the offender's name, and I will make sure they never see you again. I'm always on the lookout for a new pair of eyes. 

Only prints and wood tiles available. Email childrenofdave@gmail.com to order.

Rats can be hard to find. Write their name in your blood at my feet, and I will plague them so their soul rots from the inside out. 

Only prints and wood tiles available. Email childrenofdave@gmail.com to order.